Homage for the Suffering
by apollogirl7
Summary: Still in "warrior" training, Bertholdt and Annie are faced with a new experiment from their superiors. Three options are laid before them, become a test subject for muscle enhancing, endurance, or titan hybrid reproduction. Only it's not by choice which category they are thrown into.
1. Prologue

**Hey all, Missy here. This story is going to be a bit different from anything else I've written for here. It will be dark and it will be sad. Bertholdt and Annie are my OTP as of now. I love them so much and I wanted them to have some sort of story since we haven't heard from either in a few books in the manga. **

** So just an overview of this story and how I got the idea. I was on tumblr and came across a fan-drawn picture of Bertholdt and Annie's baby. I wanted that kid's story. And here I am writing it. To give a better idea of the world setting, they have not left for inside the walls yet, nor are they 12 when they do. Annie, Bert, and Reiner are all about 15/16, in this part at least, so older than the anime/manga. I was not okay with young Annie and Bert having babies, OKAY?! Also, they are in their "warrior" days, so world building will be my death. Oi. **

** This story might die out before I finish it. I have a general idea of what I want to happen, but I just don't know what kind of reception I'll get, ya feel me? I just kind of figured that this would be how the bad people who make titan shifters lives suck even more. Why not just stop at turning them into titans, but make them do the frick frack or whatever without consent? That sounds like evil masterminds to me. I also just wanted this idea out of my head!**

Prologue

The blond girl jogged to meet up with the large group in the courtyard. It was just minutes before supper, and already Annie's stomach growled in anticipation. _Hopefully this won't take too long_, she thought, clutching the fabric of her shirt. Over the building surrounding her, the sun still sprayed some light. The colors of the bricks nearly matched that of her hair.

Searching the crowd for a place to stand or a familiar face, Annie spotted the tallest person she knew. Towering over the heads of the other warriors Bertholdt stood. Next to him, Annie could make out the muscular build of Reiner, Bertl's and her best friend.

"Hey!" she called, pushing past annoyed girls and boys. Not many refused her advance. Annie was known for being a bit rough and was seen as someone to avoid conflict with. She could kick anyone's ass, even Reiner's.

Reiner heard her first, turning from his view of the main building in front of them. He grinned and leaned into Bertholdt's shoulder, nudging him. "Look, it's your girlfriend, Berty."

Bertl turned, his face bright red, and sweat dripping down to his chin. "She's not my girlfriend," he mumbled. "And don't call me Berty!"

Reiner laughed, but ignored Bertholdt's outburst to greet their shorter counterpart. "Hello, Annie."

Annie socked Reiner in the arm and he winced. Even though a brute, Reiner could not stand up to Annie. She looked up, way up, to give Bertholdt a small smile. "Do either of you know why we've been called here?"

Both boys shrugged and Annie sighed. It wasn't like this was common. Most meetings like this meant something big for the warriors of the titans. Being a titan shifter could go only one way after all. You go to battle and return a victor, or you get eaten so your skills could be passed on without using up the Officials time.

That's what the mysterious leaders called themselves: the Officials. Not a single warrior had ever met one or knew of their true purpose. The only thing that warriors did know was that being sent to the human world inside the walls was the best chance at avoiding their wrath.

Wall Maria was but a hop, skip, and jump from the current titan shifter territory. Yet their pitiful Recon Corps never figured that out. The enemy was right on top of them the whole time. Although, it wasn't like these young adults chose to be shifting monsters. No, that was forced on them from a young age with sharp needles, chemicals, and torture. Control was the key to conquer for them, so maintaining a human form under pain and pressure was a must.

Annie suddenly cringed. She remembered those days, the ones after her father practically abandoned her. The only thing she had of him was martial arts training and a cold heart. _Not completely cold_, she reminded herself.

A crackle echoed through the courtyard from the speakers. All chatter stopped instantly. Not a tow out of line. "Greetings," the mysterious voice boomed. "This is a special night for all of you."

Annie took a step forward so she had Bertholdt on her left and Reiner on her right. It was nerve racking enough standing between them; she did not want to stand alone.

"Your legion has been selected for a series of new tests. The first being a muscle enhancer for your titan forms. Only a select few will undergo this new procedure. Your names will be listed on the first page posted on the dining room doors." Annie and Bertholdt both looked to Reiner. He seemed slightly shaken. As one of the biggest titans, at least according to muscle, why would they need him to gain anymore?

"The second group will be sent on an endurance mission to test longevity of titan shifting under a new chemical compound. This list will be on the second page of the doors." There was an extended pause and mutters could be heard over the silence. It sounded like arguing. As if these people had morals to argue about. Finally the voice returned. "The last group will be put into male and female pairs. You will be expected to produce a hybrid titan offspring. We have been very selective as to who will be undergoing this task, choosing only those who we feel have compatible powers. The names will be listed on the last page on the doors. Have a good evening."

Annie couldn't move. Amongst her were murmurs of the legion. Many distraught faces peered around, trying to decipher who would be getting prodded with needles or prodded with…Annie shook her head. Would they make the pairs have sex?

And babies? These were all teens, ranging from 14 to 17 years old. What place did warriors have making children when there was a war with the humans?

"We should probably go check that list, huh?" Reiner pulled Annie from her thoughts and yanked on Bertholdt's arm. "Besides, I'm starving."

Annie gagged, her appetite long gone. She didn't want to see where her name was placed.

By the time the trio reached the dining hall, the crowd had dissipated from the large doors. Three white sheets of paper hung, one per door. Immediately Reiner went to the third list, muttering something about getting laid. Annie gawked at him, but then shook her head and marched to the first list, Bertholdt on her tail. Scanning the list, Annie felt her stomach drop. Her name was not there.

_No muscle enhancing. That's okay, my titan can go for hours. Maybe they can make me better…_

She moved to the second door and rolled her eyes over the names. Nothing. She felt her head begin to sway. This couldn't happen.

At the third list, Annie reluctantly looked over every pairing from bottom to top. There at the top were two names.

Annie Leonhardt and Bertholdt Fubar.

**Yeah, so that was the first part. Hope ya'll enjoyed. Kind of…? It's not really meant to be a nice story even if it is kind of a Bert/Annie romance. Reviews and criticisms welcome. I don't know for sure if I will continue or not. **


	2. Don't Move

**Chapter 1: Don't Move**

"Bert, come on." Reiner leaned against the storage room door, sighing. "You're going to have to face this sooner or later."

Inside the closet, Bertholdt pulled his knees up to his chest, not of his own choice, but to fit his long legs in the small space. With his chin resting on his legs, the boy stared into the darkness. Not only had he been sweating since the announcement, but the deep blush on his cheeks refused to fade. The heat from it soaked into his pants, burning his legs.

"Bertholdt, I am giving you until the count of one to get your ass out here." The door creaked as Reiner pushed off of it to get a running start.

Bertholdt did not move.

Huffing, Reiner bellowed, "One!" and ran into the door.

With a splintering crack, the wood broke under his weight. On the floor, Bertholdt lay covered in chunks of the door and an irritated Reiner.

"I shouldn't have had to do that," the blond mumbled. Picking himself up and dusting off shavings, Reiner looked down at his friend.

Bertholdt did not move.

"Are you kidding me?" Reiner leaned down, picking up the tall boy and throwing him over his shoulder. "I do not have time for this, Berty. My injection is in an hour. Pull it together."

"I can't do this."

"He speaks." Reiner carried Bertholdt through the long, narrow hallways of their barracks. Reaching their shared room and flinging open the door, Reiner threw Bertholdt onto his bed. "What the hell?"

"Reiner," Betholdt pleaded. "This can't be happening. I can't do this. Not to Annie." The tall boy curled in on himself on the bed. The bed creaked as he rocked in silent sobs. "They're going to make us…and I don't…and I can't!"

Reiner sympathized with his friend, he really did. While the idea should have thrilled most guys – getting to bang a chick under orders – Reiner could feel what this would do to them. Annie, small and fierce Annie, was required to make a hybrid titan-shifter. With Bertholdt.

They were childhood friends, growing up together in the country. Forced off by their parents and the government, the trio was required to join the warrior training. Little did they know it would force them into being titans, of all things. That was part of the secret though. Titans were simply people all along. The procedure wasn't horrible. It was a simple injection into a vein anywhere on the body. It was easier though if you didn't more. Reiner found that out the hard way when his vein blew and he got poked multiple times.

Then came the training. They learned how to turn into the giant terrors with little trouble. Annie's titan form was stunning from the beginning. A lot of titans were just plain ugly, but Annie had the physique even as a twelve year old, to pull it off. Reiner had a sort of crush on her then.

Reiner's form was nothing more than sheer muscle and armor. The Officials had been impressed to say the least. But it wasn't he who shocked them completely.

Bertholdt shifted like the other two, just as easily. Except, he didn't stop shifting at 15 meters like they had. No, he went nearly four times as much. It was an underestimate to say the Officials had been pleased. They left a message for Bertholdt that he would come of great use to them someday. Maybe making a kid with Annie was that great use?

The thought shocked Reiner out of his reverie. Annie with a baby? Bertholdt and Annie?

"Reiner, you have to help us!" Bertholdt had jumped from the bed and clutched Reiner by the shoulders, peering down at the blond with crazed eyes.

"Bert, I can't. This is out of our control." He shoved the brunette off. "What you need to be doing is talking to Annie. And besides that, while this sucks, you should be thrilled. You've had a crush on her forever, this should be a dream come true." His words sounded harsh, but they needed to follow orders. That was the way of warriors. Reiner sighed, "I'm sorry, Bert." He turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Bertholdt did not move.

* * *

><p>"There are two methods for the hybrid cross experiment. Natural or artificial insemination. Really, the choice is up to you ladies which process to go through with. I know some pairs aren't exactly ideal but…"<p>

Annie ignored the thin scientist woman. In one of the larger rooms of her building, the girls whose names were on list 3 gathered for preparation. While other sections got their injections, Annie was required to learn about impregnation. The idea had her blushing and disgusted at the same time. _I am sixteen years old and the want me to carry a titan baby? Screw that._ Annie's face never betrayed her frustrations though.

In her mind, she could see the shock on Bertholdts face when he read his name next to hers. He had passed out, of course, after. Bertl was always getting overwhelmed like that. Annie, however, had simply walked away, numb.

In the room, the other girls – maybe 15 total – all listened intently. Annie could tell they were just as uncomfortable with the idea. Forced to carry babies. Hadn't their bodies been through enough?

"That is all, ladies. We expect those of you using the natural option to begin trying as soon as your cycles allow. This is a great way for us to advance titan-shifter abilities. The idea gives me such chills. Can you just see it, combined titan powers? Just imagine that colossal boy mixed with one of you…the possibilities."

Annie's cheeks burned but she felt a surge of pride. She had been paired with Bertholdt, the "colossal boy" himself. What the two of them could bring genetically to the table would have to be amazing….

"Ugh!" Annie screamed and clutched the sides of her head. "I can't think like this! Are you all mad?!"

The woman stopped talking at Annie's outburst. "I'm sorry, but what's the problem, child?"

Annie sobered and glared at the woman. The amount of trouble she could get in for refusing orders was too great a risk. "Nothing. I'm feeling a bit ill. May I be excused?"

* * *

><p>Reiner's snores echoed through the small room. It normally never bothered Bertholdt, as he was a deep sleeper. But that night it punched into his skull, loud and unstoppable. He's debated waking Reiner or chucking a pillow at, but didn't have the guts. His friend needed the sleep.<p>

A new serum sang through Reiner's veins. Supposedly it would help with his endurance levels in titan form, keeping him from burning out too fast. The shot made him exhausted though. Luckily he would have any trials with it until he finished several more rounds of the chemical injections.

Thinking of the requirements made Bertholdt's despair return full force. The sweat ran down his forehead and palms. Annie's face filled his mind. Her long nose and golden hair. The small form of her body, so short standing next to his. The way she only ever smiled when she was with him or Reiner. The bright blue of her cold eyes.

"I need to talk to her," he muttered. Bertholdt pulled his legs over the side of his bed and stood. With his pants and a shirt on, he left the room as silently as possible.

Bertholdt knew roughly where Annie's room was in the girls' dormitory. He'd been there once by accident several years prior, though Annie never knew. The thought alone embarrassed him. He needed to focus on avoiding the night watch and not waking anyone.

Up two flights of stairs and down several corridors, Bertholdt found what he thought to be her room. Annie had a single, unsurprisingly. No one wanted to room with her after an incident with her previous roommate. There had been a spat between the two of them, Annie had pulled out her dad's martial arts techniques, and the other girl had lost several teeth and gained a concussion. Bertholdt remembered Annie's regret afterward, though she never showed anyone else those feelings.

Deciding not to knock, Bertl opened the door quietly and stepped inside. The small alone screamed _Annie_ to him. He smiled, but felt that awkward blush and sweat arise. He's have to get over this to be with her.

The thought caught him off guard. He's have to have sex with Annie.

_It's not right. None of this is right._

He eased farther into the room, trying to make out a shape that would be a bed and a small girl. Bertl ghosted his hands through the air and finally made contact with sheets. He stepped forward, reaching more to find her face. Except there was no body on the bed.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

Bertholdt jumped straight out of his skin and hit his head on the low ceiling of the room. It was so late and so quiet that the noise shocked him more than the person behind the voice.

"Annie!" Bertholdt stammered. She stood, a silhouette to the hallway light, in the narrow doorway.

"Bertl?" she started. "What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded angrier than she wanted to be. She wasn't mad at him and it wasn't fair to take out such frustrations on him either.

"I-" Bertholdt shuffled back on his feet, trying to increase the space between them. "I needed to talk to you."

She could see the red on his cheeks. Well, not just his cheeks, but his entire face. "In the middle of the night? In my room?" She turned to shut the door and lit a candle on the table on her other side. The glow illuminated the dark room enough for her to see him fully. Hair ruffled from sleep – or lack of, due to the dark circles under his green eyes. She wanted to push the straying strands back into their normal Bertholdt positions across his forehead. His clothes too were wrinkled and unlike how he usually appeared. The last time she'd seen him like this was when they were young children. She stepped passed him and sat on the edge of her mattress.

Bertholdt continued to stare at her, silent.

Finally Annie muttered, "sit" and patted the spot next to her on the bed. Next to her his size always seemed so much more significant. He hadn't always been that tall, but now that he was, it made their contact more strained. She tucked her legs up under herself and leaned against his shoulder. Bertholdt jumped at her touch. "You know," she said, quiet, "this is never going to work if you can't stand to be near me without freaking out. I know I'm not the ideal partner, but try to act like you enjoy my company."

_She thinks I don't like her?! _Bertholdt gaped down at the blond next to him. "Wha-?"

"You always flinch away from me, so I don't know how we're going to pull of the sex thing if you can't even touch me." She spoke so nonchalantly that Bertholdt wasn't sure what to say. "And yes," she continued, "we are going with the 'natural' way. I can't stand the way they described the artificial shit. The less needles and time it takes to get this out of the way, the better." She leaned into him again, testing his patience with her. This time Betholdt did not lean away.

"Annie."

"Berty."

"Ugh, no. Don't call me that."

Annie's voice softened as she looked up at him. "What do you need, Bertholdt?"

With a sigh he murmured, "I don't know if I can do this to you." Bertl turned his face away and moved back on the bed. He covered his face with his large hands and pulled his legs up to his chest. It was like the closet all over again. The despair crashed down on him.

"Do I scare you that much?" Annie leaned back to meet him. She gently pulled his hands from his face and put them in her lap. With her fingers interlaced with his, she whispered, "I'm sorry it has to be me."

Bertholdt's eyes shot open, green blazing into blue. "No, Annie." He sat up quickly and yanked his hands free. Placing them on both sides of her face he spoke, "It's not that. Honestly, if there's anyone I could be paired with I'm glad it's you." The words rushed out with so much confidence that Bertholdt was almost sure it wasn't him speaking at all. "It's that I care for you, and I respect you, too much to do this to you."

A small tear broke from Annie's gaze and fell toward Berhtoldt's thumb. He smiled gently at her and wiped the tear away. "I never wanted to do it this way, but I guess there's no choice left." Bertholdt continued to stare into her sapphire eyes as he leaned in closer. Their breath intermingled in a swirling bit of heat between their faces. Annie looked down at his lips and closed the distance.

This kiss would have thrilled him. If only it had happened any other way.

**Hey guys! So I got two reviews, which helped push me to write another 2000 words. Yay! Like I said, I will continue this if I get enough feedback. I hope you are enjoying it.**

**Also, I bumped the rating up to M just because I'm not sure how into things I am going to get. There will be violence eventually, so I guess that will win the rating anyway. Honestly, I am more comfortable writing gore than sexual stuff…ugh. **

**Also also, the basic plot of this will eventually follow that of the original series. So yes, the trio will meet up with the 104****th**** and whatnot. It'll get there. For now, just enjoy some Bert/Annie fluff and fun….UNTIL EVERYTHING GOES BAD MWAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Review Pwease?**


	3. Reiner's Advice

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. A lot has happened in the last month or so. I had finals and a lot of traveling…I literally drove from the U.P. to St. Louis. I also had a family incident and the holidays. It's just been crazy and I couldn't get around to writing when I was feeling so **_**meh**_**. But here's chapter 2. It's a bit of a filler – sorry about that. I kind of wanted to show the bro-ness between Reiner and the other two (of course over meals). Hope you enjoy! I'll try to get this updated faster now that things have settled. BTW – THANKS for the reviews. It means a lot that people are reading this. **

**-Missy**

"Where've you been?" Reiner glared pointedly from across the table at Bertholdt. He took another large bite of toast and brushed the crumbs from his chin. "You're like a fucking ghost. I woke up and you weren't in your bed. What gives?"

Bertholdt reddened and looked away as he tried to take a seat. "I-."

Reiner burst into a loud laugh. "Save it." The blond put a hand up to reassure his friend. "I don't want to know." Reiner dropped the toast and started to spoon oatmeal into his mouth. "Where's Annie?"

"She's sleeping," Bertl muttered.

"Annie doesn't sleep in," Reiner said. "What'd you do to her?"

"Nothing! We were talking and stayed up late." Bertholdt started to eat his own breakfast. "She just seemed exhausted."

Reiner thought for a minute, testing words on his tongue. "Did you two come to an understanding…? Ya know, about this whole situation?" He made a circling gesture with his spoon.

Bertl nodded silently.

"Good. Well, I hate to leave you, buddy, but I've got to get some bloodwork done and my second round of shots." Reiner stood from the bench and picked up his tray of food. "See ya."

"Yeah," Bertholdt mumbled. "Bye."

* * *

><p><em>I kissed him. <em>Annie scowled at her reflection in the dirty mirror. Dark bags hung under her eyes and her hair dangled stringy across her cheeks. She splashed cold water onto her face and closed her eyes. _Why did I kiss him? _

Grabbing a towel, she sighed. Annie had never kissed a boy in her life. Not until that night. Her cheeks grew warm.

"This shouldn't bother me!" Annie's hands clenched into fists around the towel. _It was just a kiss! We're going to be fucking each other soon, so what should it matter, _she thought.

_ Maybe because you have some small feelings for him…_

Annie jumped at the loud knock coming from the bathroom door. "Are you almost done in there?" a voice called.

The blond quickly dried her face and pulled open the large wooden door. "Yeah, here." Annie brushed past the girl that was waiting.

"Hey, wait!" The girl called hesitantly, causing Annie to stop. "You're one of the girls that's part of the hybrid project, right?"

Annie turned to look at the other girl. She had auburn hair and tiny freckles that dotted her cheeks. Her green eyes looked petrified. "Yes," Annie answered. She recognized the girl, but couldn't place a name to the face.

She relaxed a bit. "Me too!" She said as she stepped closer to Annie in the corridor. "I'm Giselle, by the way…but most of my friends call me Gisa. Not that I'm really friends with _them_ anymore…" She continued to ramble causing Annie to lose interest quickly. "…and I got paired with this guy, Marcel. I think he's a friend of yours?"

"More like a friend of a friend," Annie muttered. "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Huh?" Gisa looked curiously at Annie. "Well, there aren't a lot of us in this experiment, and I thought maybe we could be friends? We're all going to be pregnant soon and may as well have other girls to talk with." She laughed a bit. "I'm terrified to do this alone!"

Annie turned on her heels and started to walk away.

"Where're you going?" Gisa's hands suddenly gripped onto Annie's arm. "Don't you wanna be friends?" She looked hurt.

Annie huffed a loud sigh. "You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

And then Gisa was hugging her. "I knew it! I knew we could be friends!"

* * *

><p>"She hugged you?" Reiner eyed Annie questioningly. "And you let her?! HA!" He erupted into laughter.<p>

"She's annoying. I feel bad for Marcel." Annie glowered at her lunch. It consisted of a green soup and plain sandwich. She didn't want to touch it, let alone eat it.

"Marcel?" Reiner stopped his amusement at her discomfort. "What's she got to do with Marcel?"

"Oh, those two are paired together like me and Bertl." Annie took the first bite of her meal only to gag.

"Ah," Reiner concluded. "Speaking of you and Bertl. I heard you two were up late _talking_ last night. Care to elaborate on that, Annie?" He grinned like a devil.

"Do you want me to dislocate your shoulder again?" She didn't even look at him as she spoke and he began laughing again.

"You guys are a pair, aren't you? Neither will talk." But Reiner's face softened a bit. "Look, I know this is hard for you both. Hell, I think old Berty's going to have a conniption one of these days." He chuckled a bit but turned serious again. "But Annie," Reiner waited to meet her gaze before continuing, "please take care of him. That boy feels a lot more than he shows."

"Reiner, I have no intention of doing anything to him intentionally. We're friends."

"Yeah, I know." He grinned at her. "Now, are you gonna eat that?"

* * *

><p><em>A few weeks later<em>

"So I was wondering," Gisa started as she combed thin fingers through her hair. "Have you and that Bertholdt guy started yet?"

The idea didn't even make Annie flinch.

The question was expected. Everyone involved in this experiment had been asking as of late. Annie had had several discussions with doctors in the compound as well as other girls. They all wanted to know how things were going in the bedroom.

"Of course," she replied curtly.

"Wha-? Really?" Gisa stopped her fidgeting and focused on Annie. "And?"

Annie sighed. "And it's sex, I don't know what you want me to say." Still, she looked away to hide the blush creeping up her neck and cheeks.

"Nothing I guess. I just wanted to see how far behind I am." Gisa laughed nervously. "I can't get Marcel to even look at me. We're going to get punished if we don't produce."

"I would say 'seduce him,' but that didn't really work for Bertholdt," Annie said. She thought back to the first night they had tried to _do it._

It had taken nearly an hour to get Bertl to just remove his shirt. Annie had tried everything she could think of in her virgin mind. She'd practically stripped in front of him and even tried to make it look "sexy."

It hadn't worked.

Bertholdt had curled into himself again, hands covering face and sweating profusely while she stood on in her underclothes watching. To say the least, they didn't get the job done that night.

She had confronted Reiner about it the next afternoon at lunch. His only advice was to let Bertholdt be the one in charge. "Let him be a man, Annie. He can assert himself when he wants to."

So that night, instead of trying to coax him out of his clothes, she allowed him to remove hers. He was hesitant as ever, but seemed to enjoy the idea of being the one in command of the situation. It probably helped that he could then explore her body not just with his eyes, but his hands as well. He made no move to really _touch_ her; in fact he was very much trying to avoid contact. But contact was made anyway when Annie would shift slightly so her breast would rub his hand or when she allowed her lips to ghost his arms. Bertholdt, of course, would jump and mutter apologies.

By the third night, Annie had him pinned to the bed with his shirt thrown across her room and her shirt on the way off. Slowly Bertl was becoming more comfortable with the idea of sex.

"Maybe that would work, though!" Gisa's loud mouth broke Annie from her thoughts.

"Seduction? Yeah, maybe."

"Thanks, Annie! I'll try it tonight, for sure. He'll have to notice me then. I get him to meet me when my roommate's out and we'll get this ball rolling!" She seemed far too excited for Annie's taste.

"Yeah." Annie stood slowly from her spot on the floor. Since they were no longer allowed to attend training during the day, Annie's mornings were filled with sleeping and afternoons with the ramblings of Giselle. It was boring beyond belief. She missed her hand-to-hand combat practice. It was one of the few connections she still had to her true home. "Giselle," she whispered. "Were you forced to become a warrior?"

Gisa's bright smile dropped clear off her face. "You mean, forced to come here and become a titan?"

"Yes. Did someone else decide for you?"

"I guess that's how it happened. My mother suggested it one day, and kicked me out the door the next. She was mad about government control and wanted me to be a part of fixing it. 'Humans are the worst kind of monster. They only lose themselves.'" She turned thoughtful for a moment before continuing. "Of course none of us knew we would become _real_ monstersafter signing up.

"Becoming a titan is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. And my titan isn't even that great. I'm weak in that form…the only thing I'm good for is climbing! And Marcel's titan isn't any better. I don't know what they expect of us." She looked at Annie. "But I've seen you! Annie, you're terrifying when you transform. I can't even imagine how scary your and Bertholdt's kid will be if he can transform. He'd be tall and strong and faster than anything."

"I hadn't given it that much thought." Annie sat down in a chair before turning back to Gisa. "But Giselle," she said quietly, "how do they know this is genetic? The transformation, I mean. What if this is all for nothing? What will happen to us then?

"I guess we go back to being real warriors."

"But we'll be mothers."

"I don't think they will let us," Gisa said sadly. "As soon as these kids are born, they will be poked and prodded and tested for every bit of information possible. Maybe we get to raise them, but they'll either be titans or not. And if they're not…well, then the Officials will wait until they're old enough to transform with the same injection we had. It's always about having more to fight."

Annie didn't want to think the world could be so cruel. But there she was, trained from a young age to fight and kill. And then sent from her home with her two closest friends to be turned into a monster. Annie wasn't sure if the world could get darker. But then again, it wasn't up to her.

As Bertholdt would say, _I have no will of my own_.


	4. What We Are

**Hey guys! I'm back with Chapter 3 of HFS. I know it's been a long time since I last updated. With the passing of two family members and my first year of college coming to an end, things just got crazy. I can't promise I will update regularly, but I will try. **

** -Missy**

_Block. Kick. Swing. Block. _Annie fell to the ground, heart racing beneath her ribs. A breath wheezed past her lips as she wiped the sweat from her forehead and started to stand. She glared at the bags of flour.

"You're pushing yourself too hard."

Staggered, Annie turned to see Bertholdt standing in the doorway to the storage room, arms crossed over his broad chest. She knew by inviting Bertholdt to her secret training area she would be outed for over doing it. Gise usually came along to keep her company, but was busy with Marcel this day.

Without a good excuse for the kickboxing and flour everywhere she shrugged. "I'm bored."

Bertholdt sighed heavily. "Annie, c'mon." He stepped into the room and stood behind her. With caution, he placed his large hands on her shoulders. She shrugged him off roughly. "I knew you were keeping up your training, but this is a bit much." He pushed a bag across the floor with his boot.

"Whatsit to you anyway? It's not hurting you." She thrust a kick into a bag hanging by a rope. The bag burst, spraying flour everywhere. "Shit!" Surprised, Annie flew back into Bertholdt, landing them both heavily on the floor. Bertholdt's arm snaked around Annie's chest.

"You okay?" Bert asked. Upon looking down at her between his legs and her breasts under his arm, his face flamed; and he instantly let go, scooting back.

"Fine," she huffed. Annie stood and started brushing flour off her middle and legs. "I was done anyway." She stumbled and picked up her water canteen before heading for the storage room door.

"Hey, Annie, wait." Bertholdt reached for her wrist and pulled her back to the room. "I wanted to talk to you."

"And that has to be done here?" She scowled.

"Well, I thought it would less embarrassing than the mess hall," he retorted. Bertholdt led her a stack of boxes under a window and sat down.

Annie sighed, "What's this about, Bertl?"

"Well, y'know how I kinda freaked out the other night, after we found out about the Hybrid Project? I wanted to apologize. Especially for the kissing…" He looked down at his hands as he twiddles his thumbs on his lap. "I feel bad, like I made you do something you didn't want to do, and I don't know. I just wanted to see where we stand. Annie, what are we?"

She sat quietly next to him, slightly irritated at his apology. What were they? Friends? Friends with benefits? They were expected to make a baby together, so maybe future parents? "Bertl, we grew up together. We were sent here together. Does it really matter what label we're given. No matter what happens in this mess, you and Reiner are still going to be my best friends. And coming from me that's pretty special, right?" She smirked, elbowing him.

Bertholdt looked as if he wanted to respond, but stopped himself, a sad look in his eyes. But a moment later, he smiled. "Yeah, I guess."

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I need lunch, and I think you have training in the next few minutes," Annie stood and made for the door. "Don't want to be late."

"Crap, I almost forgot!" He jumped from the box.

"See ya, Berty."

"Bye, Annie." He grinned, waving her way. With her gone though, the smile fell from his lips. "I guess we'll have to continue that conversation when you feel the same way."

* * *

><p>"And how does that feel?" The doctor asked, messaging a muscle on Reiner's arm.<p>

"Like you're tearing it off! Jeez, man, stop." Reiner pulled back, face red.

"You're not the only one who's reacted this way after the most recent serum injection. I think for now, we'll give you a break on shots. Get some rest and come back in a few days. Hopefully any of these 'hiccups' will clear up by then. And we can finally do a field test of that armor."

"Sure." Reiner climbed down from the exam table and started back to his dorm. Every muscle shook from the little exertion. Not sure how or if he could make it up the two flights of stairs, he mumbled, "Fuck those bastards."

His nose began to bleed.

* * *

><p>"At ease!" the officer commanded.<p>

Bertholdt dropped his solute, chest still heaving from running previously.

"Good work today, warriors. Now, as some of you may have heard, there's been a recent population spike within The Walls. Too many people in a small space can lead to trouble, right?" The officer adjusted his stance, prosthetic leg finally balance. "Uprisings. Knowledge. These are things we need to avoid.

"Now, from the Inner Circle itself, a mission is being assembled as we speak. One that will require several of our 'larger' additions to this program." He grinned. "We are going for the walls. And we are going to knock. Them. Down."

Bertholdt felt his heart drop to his stomach. Bigger wasn't always better. He listened to the murmurs echoing amongst the recruits around him. Eyes slowly started to settle on him.

"Fubar! Holtzer! Meet me after the close. Dismissed."

Bertholdt wiped some sweat form his face, looking for Marcel Holtzer. He spotted his friend walking cockily toward their officer. He joined them shortly.

"Boys, I have a mission for you," the man teased. "You depart in roughly six months' time. I need you both out doing field training at least three times a week. I want your titan's in good, working condition, _and under your control_. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good luck, gentlemen. I'll see you both tomorrow." The man sauntered off to his quarters at the far end of the training grounds.

Marcel moved first, slapping Bertholdt across the back. "What do ya think, Bert, ol' buddy? The two of us picked for this extra special mission. And on top of the Hybrid Project. We'll be the top dogs here. All the ladies will be lining up."

"Uh huh." Bertholdt trudged toward the exit gate. He couldn't tell Annie. Reiner, maybe, but not Annie. She'd probably flip. And shouldn't she be pregnant by the time he left? Or would they pair her off with someone else if she wasn't? They hadn't even tried yet! "Marcel, look, I need to head back. I have plans with, uh, Annie."

"Oh, she's your partner, right? I remember you liking her or something when we were younger. Is that the case now? Did you two," Marcel thrust his pelvis, grinning, "get it on yet?"

"Not your concern. Bye." Bertholdt jogged past the gates and down the trail that lead into town. The girls' barracks were on the farthest side from the training grounds, so he picked up the pace and hoped she was in her room. Alone. _This is it. We are going to _talk._ I am going to tell her._

* * *

><p>Annie walked back to the dorms with Gise close beside her. The red head babbled non-stop about her old friends and her family, the meal they just finished, and her current success with Marcel. Annie only half listened as the girl exclaimed about losing her virginity.<p>

"Speak of the devil," Gise laughed. "Marcel, are you already done with training?"

Annie had come to know Marcel over the years, not that it meant their relationship was a good one. He was good friends with Reiner, an okay one with Bertholdt, and entirely a pest to Annie.

"Oh, yeah, babe. And," he added, grinning, "Myself and Fubar are headed on a topnotch mission in six months." Marcel then proceeded to explain they'd be taking down the walls.

But Annie's ears had pricked at the familiar last name. "Bertholdt is a part of this mission?" The blood drained from her face. _He's leaving? He might never come back! _Her mind flashed to their conversation just hours ago. _What is he to me?_

"Gise, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." Annie turned to go.

"Huh? Um, okay. Bye, Annie!" Gise called before turning back to Marcel.

_What are we?_

* * *

><p>Bertholdt sat quietly at Annie's desk, wondering how she'd respond to finding him in her room. He hoped it was positive. Loud footsteps resounded outside the bedroom door. The pace of someone running.<p>

Annie crashed through the door in a flurry of blond hair. She was working off some of her clothes to change, when she finally noticed him waiting there. "Bertl," she accused, "I was just going to come find you. What are you doing here?"

Bertholdt stood slowly from the chair and reached for her. His hands found her cheeks, and he caressed the skin gently.

Annie watched, out of breath and confused. Slowly, Bertholdt leaned forward and kissed her lips. He sighed into her, not waiting for a response. She kissed back, lips moving silently with his.

"I wish I had had the courage to do that sooner," he murmured, pulling back. "Annie, I love you. I kind of always have. Since we were kids and you used to come crying about your father's training, or when we'd chase frogs and butterflies outside our village. Even when you'd beat me and Reiner up for whatever stupid things we did. I always saw you.

"Until now, I couldn't tell you. And believe me, I tried; even earlier today. But I can't hold back anymore. Not when I'm afraid I could lose you to someone else." He kissed her again, rougher. And she responded back instantly.

They fell into each other, quickly losing focus. His shirt was soon removed and forgotten on the floor along with hers. Their hands reaching and exploring, flesh on flesh. He left trails of kisses down her neck and chest, sparking little fires under her skin. Her hands swept through his dark hair and her legs wrapped tightly around his torso.

Bertholdt lifted up, squeezing their chests together. When his legs hit the edge of the bed, Bertholdt fell on top of her, continue his caresses from before. Annie found the edge of his pants and loosened the string tie holding them up. Still, he continued to trace his mouth down her body, chest, stomach, lower, lower, lower. Goosebumps rose on their skins with every touch. Annie grazing her hands up his back, fingers playing and digging in and along the skin.

Bertholdt pulled back a moment, looking down at her. Annie's ice blue eyes shown with the little light coming through the window. Sweat beaded down her forehead. He could only assume the same crazed look covered his face as well. He fell forward to nuzzle his nose along her neck and cheekbones. "I love you," he whispered.

Annie sighed contently, as she turned to kiss the side of his head. "I think I do too."

She pulled at the edge of his pants and then back to remove her own. But large hands stopped her. "Not tonight."

"Why not?" Annie complained, sitting up and pushing him up with her.

"I don't want you to respond because you feel you have to." The old Bertholdt surfaced again. Considerate and shy.

"Well, it's not like we have forever, Bertl. You leave in six months, right?" Annie accused, anger and fear filling her.

Bertholdt paled. "How did you hear about that?"

"Marcel is with Gise, remember? He came and found us after dinner." She thought for a minute. "And you didn't tell me yourself. Even just now." Annie knew her eyes turned to ice, as her mother used to say. It only happened when she was frustrated to anger and sadness. They bore into Bertholdt's green ones heavily.

"I was going to. Just, not tonight." Sadness crossed his features, softening Annie's. "This whole mission is the reason I had the courage to confess to you. I wanted you to know. Through everything that's going to happen – to both of us – in the next few months. I needed to make sure you knew."

"Okay." Annie pulled herself up and rested her forehead to his. "I understand. But please don't keep this kind of stuff from me. We're kind of a team now." She smiled.

"So what does this mean now? For _us_?" He stared down into her eyes.

Annie continued to smile as she reached forward to kiss him. "I guess we'll just go from here, wherever it takes us."

**Guys, this is as "smutty" as I can do. Like, for real, I get embarrassed just reading legit smut, so I don't think I can write it. LOL. But I hope it satisfied your current beruani hunger. And you can't have a fic with Annie without an argument and some hitting, amiright?**

**Oh, and I take complete responsibility for Marcel being a dick. I just wanted a fuckboy in this story. And since we don't really know his personality… well, there you go. Hope you liked it. Please review if you did. More fun to come in later chapters ;)**

**Also, if this seems OOC for Berty, I was trying to get across that his concern for Annie (and himself, because come on, who wants to see their crush with someone else?) was greater than his shy/nervousness. And Annie wanted to find him because she does care for him and is concerned for his safety. Boom.**

**ALL HAIL THE ICE QUEEN AND SWEATY PRINCE**


	5. If You're Ready

**Hey guys! So I found a continuity error (since I wrote the last chapter so long after the one before it). To clear it up, let's assume it's been several days since the announcement, not several weeks. THIS CHAPTER, it will start the next day and then continue on. Boom. Enjoy!**

**-Missy**

Bertholdt washed his face in the sink before peering into the dusty mirror on the bathroom wall. It was early, earlier than he liked it to be, and he could definitely see it on his face. Despite the morning hour, he had a sense of elation humming through his body.

"I did it," he said to the reflection.

Memories of the night before flashed in Bertholdt's mind. The kissing and the touching, the intimacy, and all positively received by Annie. His confession had paid off. Bertholdt was sure Annie felt at least something strong enough for him that they could start something. Together.

Nothing could ruin this day.

"Morning." Reiner dragged into the room looking exhausted.

"Good morning." Bertholdt passed him a towel. "What's wrong with you?"

"Eh, just feeling a little under the weather. Don't worry about it." Reiner took a long look at his tall friend's face and broke into a grin. "You confessed, didn't you?"

Bertholdt began to blush. "Figures you could tell."

"I'm happy for you," Reiner continued. He splashed his face with water before turning to the towel in his hand. "But, I have to ask, as your closest friend of course…did you do it?"

Bertholdt smacked Reiner across the back of the head but laughed. "No, you asshole." His face gave him away though, growing redder, and followed by a few drops of sweat.

"You did something."

"Leave me alone. If you want details, I'll tell you later. I've got an extra training session to get to now."

"Save it! I don't want to know!" Reiner laughed as Bertholdt dashed from the room. "And don't hit me," the blond mumbled, rubbing his head.

He could feel a bruise already forming.

* * *

><p>"So what would you say is your best asset?" Annie asked jokingly. She and Bertholdt walked later that afternoon, hoping to bond a little better even if they had known each other for years. A river passed through part of the downtown, surrounded by grass.<p>

"Asset? What kind of question is that?" He responded flippantly.

"Okay, how about talent, then? What is your talent, Bertl?" She picked up a small flower and examined it.

He thought for a moment and then laughed. "Sweating."

Annie smiled at his humor. Since opening up to her about his feelings, Bertl seemed to be more light-hearted with her. Like some weight was lifted from him.

"You do sweat a lot," she replied. "But I don't mind it." She dropped the flower and grinned up at him. "Much."

The couple looked out at the water, quiet. Bertholdt had another training session coming up in the next hour, but he was trying not to think about it. This time he needed to shift.

"What do you think of this whole hybrid thing?" Annie asked suddenly, pulling Bertl from his thoughts.

"I don't think it will work," he muttered. "I don't think these injections will change our genetic codes."

"So you think it's all a waste?" Annie seemed to have no emotion asking the question. The both sat down on the grass.

"Well, I don't think it's _all_ a waste." Bertholdt put a hand on the ground behind her and leaned back. The blond leaned back on his shoulder. "Some good has to come out of this, right?"

Annie sighed. "Not according to Gise. She thinks that these kids will be whisked away as soon as they're born, poked and prodded to find if they shift. I'll have to go back to training, and when the kids are old enough for them to figure out they won't shift, they'll be forced to train as well. And they'll be injected just like we were."

Bertholdt didn't say anything, just started to quake beside her. "More children abused by these maniacs. This time they'd be ours. This whole thing is fucking stupid. We shouldn't even try if that's going to be our baby's fate." He looked past the water to the buildings and people. This may have been a training location, but it was still a town. Families lived here peacefully, not worrying about their children being turned into man-eating monsters. Bertl exhaled loudly and stood up. "Sorry, I have to head back now. They want me to shift completely today. And have a doctor appointment soon?"

"Yeah. Good luck." Annie stood up beside him. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah, bye." He sauntered off, leaving her alone.

* * *

><p>Annie hopped up on the exam table of the medical wing. Her doctor had yet to come in and examine her. The cold metal of the table soaked through her pants and made her shiver. <em>Some place…<em>

"Good afternoon, Miss Leonhardt," her doctor greeted. The smile on her face was as fake as ever.

"Hi," Annie replied, looking away. "Tell me again why I needed this appointment."

"We're just checking up, see how things are going. The usual." She placed a stethoscope on Annie's chest and listened. "We'll be doing this every week until it's confirmed that you are carrying."

Annie tried not to breathe too heavily.

"That is, you could be pregnant already, we just won't know for a few weeks." The women then examined eyes and mouth.

"There's no way I am. I haven't had sex yet."

Her doctor stopped midway through examining her and glared. "You haven't started yet?" she asked incredulously.

Annie sat quietly staring at her hands.

"You wait right here, Annie." The doctor moved for the door. "I think you need to talk to someone."

Annie heard muffled voices coming from outside the exam room. Her blood began to race. _What kind of vague command was that?_ Annie's palms started to sweat.

"She's right in here, Officer." Annie's doctor led a tall man in a lab coat into the room. "Annie, this is Officer Grant; he's part of the medical team leading the Hybrid Project."

"Hello," Annie said softly. She got a curt nod from the officer.

"I'll leave it to you." Her doctor left the room quickly, shutting the door behind her.

"Miss Annie Leonhardt, the great 'Female Titan' I have heard so much about." He took a seat in the doctor's chair. "You were pretty good at following orders when you were still allowed to train…so, what I'm wondering is why you and your assigned partner haven't started trying yet." He crossed his ankles and leaned back. "Enlighten me."

"Sir, it just hasn't come up yet. He's been assigned to extra training and we haven't been able to," she searched for the right words, "meet up."

"I'll accept that answer," he stated, standing up again. "But, wait too much longer and you'll be in for some hard times. If he's the one holding you back, we could always find you another partner. Same goes for you." He hobbled to the door lazily. "Take that to heart, I don't want to have this discussion again, got it?"

"Understood, Sir," Annie murmured, giving a small salute. "Shit."

* * *

><p>"That's so cute!" Gise gushed from her spot on the floor. "So he's had a crush on you for that long?"<p>

"I guess." Annie swung her arm around to hit a large bag of flour. "He didn't go into too many details. I think he just got overwhelmed with everything happening. I can't believe they're sending the two of them off on that mission. What if something happens along the way?" She kicked the bag, sending it to the floor. "It's not too far to The Walls, but there are still Wild types everywhere."

"I'm sure they'll be fine. I mean Bertholdt is huge, and Marcel is pretty fast. I think they'll make it no problem." Gise stood up near Annie. "Okay," the auburn said, "show me how to do this."

Annie took a stance and Gise copied her. They worked on kicks and punches before actually hitting the bags. "So tell me, where did you learn this again?"

"My dad," Annie huffed. "He had this crazy idea that I would need to learn this after my mother was taken." She punched the air again, showing Gise the form. "He was paranoid. Of course it's the same reason he sent me here. He thought I'd be safer as a titan. Go figure."

"I know what you mean, I guess. My parents weren't so much concerned for my safety though. They had too many mouths to feed and I was the oldest. I've been here since I was ten." Gise tried to copy the technique Annie showed. "I didn't really know much about the titans, other than they were dangerous. And the first time they injected me with that stuff, I cried. And again after I shifted.

"They yelled at me when my titan came out incomplete after the first shift. That's when they sent me for the second and third round of shots. God, I hated it here when I was younger."

"That's kind of how it goes, you know?" Annie watched Gise's kicks. "Good job."

"Thanks." She turned to the blond. "So what did you think when you got here? I mean, you had two of your best friends with you, so it couldn't have been that bad."

"Well, Reiner and I are cousins and we got sent first. His mom was my mom's sister and I guess our dad's just didn't want to keep up with us and protect us. Bertholdt's parents are really poor and they couldn't keep him. The Officer that came to get him paid off his parents.

"I remember Bertholdt crying his first night here. I mean we were only eleven, three kids sent away by their own parents." Annie sat down on a box and gestured for Giselle to do the same. "I'm glad we were able to stay together, but I miss the life we had."

Both girls remained thoughtful for a bit, both leaning back against the wall under a window. "Gise," Annie said. "I was threatened by one of the scientists who developed this hybrid thing today. If I can't pull through with this, even if Bertholdt and I are together, we are going to get in big trouble. If they don't lock me up, they're going to give us new partners." Gise reached for her hand. "I don't want to do this with anyone but him. He's my best friend. And he confessed to me. If I had to sleep with another man, carry his child, it would kill Bertl."

"Don't worry so much, Annie," Gise said giving her a light squeeze. "You have time. Just talk to Bertholdt. Get it all on the table…and maybe try tonight when he's done with training?"

"Maybe." Annie sat up and rested her hands on her knees. "You were right, Gise."

"About what?" Giselle followed suit and sat up beside her.

"About having other girls as friends to go through this with. I'm glad you clung to me and became my friend."

Gise hugged her instantly. "I'm glad."

* * *

><p>Annie found Bertholdt loitering around the gardens later that evening. "Hey," she called. "It's my turn to have a talk."<p>

"Oh, hi, Annie," he muttered.

"What's wrong? Training go bad?" She took a seat on the ground and pulled on his pants until he did the same.

"Something like that. I was given more details on this mission. A lot of people are going to die, Annie." He didn't relax at all. "I know we have a serious problem with humanity, but I really don't want to wipe out the entire human race. This just seems over the top."

Annie watched him, unsure of what to say. They didn't like the people who lived within the Walls. Not because they were people, but because they kicked the shifters out many years ago. "I'm sorry," she said, giving him a small hug around the middle. "Why don't you come back to my room for a bit?"

The couple walked through the small town to the girls' barracks. After reaching Annie's room, Bertholdt leaned back on the door, silent as Annie sat on her bed.

"I went to visit my doctor today," she started.

"I know."

"If I'm not pregnant soon, they are going to pair us with new people."

Shock and anger filled Bertholdt's face. "Annie, I can't do it. Maybe in the future when we could actual get married and not worry about this kid being treated as we were. But I will not subject our child to this kind of life."

"We don't have a choice anymore!" Annie screamed. "Bertl, they gave me a warning this time," she yelled from her spot on her bed. "But what about next time? We are going to get punished if we don't follow through with these orders!" She pat the spot next to her. "I'm scared, for both of us."

"And our child?" he looked down sadly.

Annie didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Bertholdt sat beside her. "But if you think it's for the best, and you're ready...we can try. There's no getting around it, I guess."

The room was quiet. Both Annie and Bertholdt looked out to the dark space in front of them. The sun had already fallen beyond the hills and mountains that surrounded their town. All was still.

He moved first, brushing the shorter strands of Annie's bangs back from her face. They stared into each other's eyes, both their faces red.

This was it.

Annie closed the distance between them, slowly moving her lips with his. As her hands reached up to his hair, his grabbed ahold of her small waist. They were slow and unsure. This had to mean something. It wouldn't just be for the Officials, or the scientists, or Warriors. This was for them."

"Bertl," Annie whispered as she fell back on the bed. He kissed down her chin to her throat and shoulders before making a trail to her chest. When stopped by her shirt, he simply lifted it above her head and continued. Goosebumps raised on her skin wherever his mouth touched. With the way his hands moved along her skin, she could tell how much she meant to him.

Annie slid her nails down his back, leaving trails of her own. He moaned against her skin. She smiled and kissed his hair, feeling her body relax even more into his touch.

Bertholdt slowly worked her chest binding off and threw it on the floor. For a moment he sat back and just stared at her body in the dim light. "This is the first time I've ever seen you like this."

She smiled. "Well it's only fair if I return the favor." She pulled his shirt easily over his head, tossing it somewhere across the room. Annie then laced her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her. Chest to chest.

"You're so beautiful, Annie." He kissed her lips again, but allowed his hands to explore her bared chest. Bertholdt rubbed his thumbs across her breasts, making her arch her back to meet him. He could feel the tightness in his pants already.

Annie's hands found themselves up on his chest as well, feeling along the ridges of his muscles. Sweat dripped from both their bodies. From the moonlight shining through Annie's window, they glistened.

They pulled back from their kiss, breathing heavily. Annie stared up into Bertholdt's green eyes. She sighed deeply. "I love you."

He was on her again instantly, leaving another trail of kisses down her body. He stopped at the edge of her pants. Slowly, Bertholdt's fingers undid the tie holding them up and pulled. With her pants gone, Annie wrapped her legs around his waist and tried to grab ahold of any part of him she could. She kissed and touched his face and hair over and over.

Bertholdt played with her inner thighs, whispers of kisses left behind. The tightness in his pants grew more intense. All he could think was, _this is going to happen_.

Annie grabbed ahold of his waistband and yanked it down. The only thing protecting them from each other being undergarments. She reached down the back of his underwear and Bertholdt shivered. "You're hands are cold," he muttered between pecks to her knees. Annie laughed. She decided it was her turn to take charge and flipped Bertholdt onto his back.

Annie straddled his waist and slid her fingers up and down his chest again. She then kissed where her hands once were, but let her fingers fall down to his underwear. She could feel his erection from behind her seat. Annie knew her own body was getting to the same point.

"Is this it?" she asked. "Are we really going to do this?"

"I think we're past that point of questioning," Bertholdt said as he grabbed her hips and flipped her. She laughed. "And by the way, we are doing it this way the first time," he declared before pulling down her undergarments.

"Fine." Her fingers grabbed his underpants and yanked them down as well.

They looked at each other, finally exposed as what they were. Male and female. Two bodies that soon would be connected as one.

Neither wanted to admit how nervous they were.

Bertholdt places himself in front of her, and quickly leaned down to kiss her lips again.

This was it.

To say neither was nervous was quite a lie.

At first there was pain. Annie knew it was coming, she had talked to Gise about it, but it still hurt. A few tears slipped down Annie's flushed cheeks. Bertholdt had been watching her face and instantly reacted, kissing the tears. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just keep going." They both readjusted temporarily.

Annie couldn't help but feel this was right. The relationship that had formed between them over the years. Was it not better to fall for one of your best friends? As Bertholdt moved, Annie held her fingers loosely in his hair.

The moment came where they both reached a climax. Bertholdt fell on top of her, but then turned and rolled back on the bed beside her. His hands wrapped protectively around her body. Both gasped for air, their bodies adapting to the hormones flowing through them.

Annie nuzzled her nose to his chest and put her arms around him as well. "We did it," she said shyly. Bertholdt gave her a squeeze in response. They lay still under the blankets, laced in each other's arms.

"Annie," Bertholdt breathed, "if you're tired, you can sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," she slurred. "Bertl, I love you."

"I know."

"And I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>It wasn't too long before both were asleep, however the slumber was quickly interrupted by loud knocking on Annie's door. Bertholdt woke up instantly, climbing over Annie's body, careful not to wake her. He pulled on his pants and pulled the door open. An officer stood before him, looking nervous. "Are you Bertholdt Fubar?" the man asked.<p>

Bertholdt nodded, question crossing his face. "Is something wrong?"

"Your roommate, Reiner Braun, seems to have collapsed."


	6. Takes me back

Annie and Bertholdt waited silently in Reiner's room of the medical wing. Men and women in lab coats dashed in and out of the small space, taking blood and vitals. They didn't speak, just continued on with their work, ignoring the very concerned couple waiting on news of their closest friend.

Yet Reiner still slept.

The knock that alerted Bertholdt to the news happened only a few hours before. He had to wake Annie from her sleep and tell her the news that Reiner may not wake up. Within minutes the two were entering the medical building, eager to find out what happened.

Both fearing the worst.

Luckily by the time they arrived, Reiner was breathing on his own and his heartbeats were even. Annie rushed passed the nurses and doctors, clutching at Reiner's large hand within two of her own. A few times doctors tried to shoo her away, but a single look sent them away instantly. Bertholdt just watched from across the room, not sure what to do or say.

The evening had gone so well. Annie returned his feelings; and even though they were forced into this hellish experiment, both of them wanted it. Bertholdt blushed at thoughts of the events mere hours earlier. He'd done it, slept with Annie, his first love. They wanted each other. Things were finally falling into place in this horrid world.

But that could only last so long. Now their friend could be dying and no one would tell them why.

The room started to empty of people, getting quieter as they left. Bertholdt figured now would be the time to move closer to the sterile hospital bed. The smell of antiseptics filled his nose, making him cringe.

Annie stayed in her seat next to Reiner, still holding his hand tightly in hers. Clearly she was worked up, even as stoic as she appeared. Bertholdt wanted to comfort her, to shake Reiner awake and assure her that he would be okay. He wanted to ask his friend what had gone so wrong and why he had not said anything. He wanted to apologize for being so focused on himself and Annie, and not noticing his friend's troubled.

It just wasn't fair.

"I wish these dammed doctors would tell us what's going on," Annie huffed, rubbing her forehead on her knuckles.

"Maybe they don't know."

Annie shook her head before resting it on her and Reiner's hands. "They obviously know something because they probably _did_ something. What was it Reiner had to do? Muscles? Endurance?" She sighed. "Whatever it is, they sure screwed him over." A small tear started to drip down her cheek. It clung to her chin but then fell the short distance to the floor.

"Annie," Bertholdt mumbled, "he'll come out of it. Please don't worry." He slowly walked to her and placed his arms over and around her shoulders from behind. His chin rested on her hair and he slowly breathed in her smell trying to find comfort in it.

"I want to believe you," Annie returned, "but look at him." She gestured to his still form. "This is miserable to see. He's so lifeless." She let go of Reiner's hand with one of her own and grabbed onto Bertholdt's arm. "Just one more thing lost from our home."

"Let's try talking about something else, ok? To get your mind off of this?"

"Like what?"

"Well," he stammered, "how about earlier tonight?" Heat rose to Bertholdt's face and he instantly regretted the idea.

Annie's cheek's reddened as well. "What about it?"

"I just wanted to say I'm glad my first time was with you." Bertholdt assured, pulling a chair beside her. "I mean, I'd thought about how it would happen. You know now that I always had a crush on you." He looked down at his feet, twiddling his thumbs. "It's funny to me that I actually get to be with you. At least for some time."

"All time," Annie whispered, though Bertholdt didn't hear her.

"I still remember the first day I saw you. You and your dad had just moved in with Reiner's family before your house was built. You were walking in the meadow down by the stream. Your hair was loose and long, and I swear I lost my breath."

"We were, like, seven," Annie countered, rolling her eyes.

Bertholdt ignored her. "I didn't get to meet you until a few days later. Reiner had dragged you along to play. I tried to say hi to you, but you kicked me in the shin and glared at me."

"Sounds about right. I wasn't much into play dates back then." A small smile ghosted onto Annie's lips.

"But I was smitten." He looked down at her.

Annie stared back, but she looked sad. "I wish I could say the same, but until recently I don't think I really had those feelings." She leaned back in the chair, letting Reiner's hand fall into her lap. "Sure, I thought about marriage and kids and all that stuff when I was younger. But I didn't have anyone particular in mind. My mom wasn't around to instill more than that in me though. And my dad shunned any kind of romantic ideas.

"I just remember having some semblance of childhood. With you and Reiner. We actually got to play and be kids for a few years." Annie closed her eyes, clearly exhausted. The sun slowly started to show through the windows. "How the hell did we end up here?"

"Annie," Bertholdt murmured.

"I don't regret much, but going along with being sent here was the worst mistake of my life. I was already forced to learn self-defense, but once here, the training became that much tougher. And now this whole baby thing. Bertholdt, within the next year, we could have a baby. _Should _have a baby."

"It makes me mad, Annie." Bertholdt said, visibly shaking.

"You told me that already."

He ignored her. "If we hadn't been sent here, I would have confessed to you anyway. Back home. We could have a house and a family and do it all the right way." Bertholdt felt Annie's hand on his arm. "I wanted that with you," he whisper. "Someday."

Annie opened her eyes to look at him. "Don't dwell on it. You got me anyway. As messed as this is." She gave him a small smile before sitting up to kiss his cheek.

Bertholdt turned his head though and caught her mouth instead. "I still love you like I did then," he muttered against her lips.

"Would you two get a room," a drowsy voice grumbled.

Bertholdt and Annie broke apart instantly and turned to Reiner's bed. Reiner's eyes were open, a sly grin on his face. The couple turned to each other, grinned, and then jumped on their friend.

"I'm so glad you're awake!" Annie squeaked before wrapping her arms tighter around his neck. "We were so worried!"

Bertholdt stood behind Annie, leaning over her and Reiner. One hand behind Annie, the other on Reiner's opposite side. "Hey, Reiner."

"I wasn't dead, was I?" he asked, but winced at Annie's closeness.

Bertholdt noticed and started to pull Annie off of him.

"What happened?" Annie asked, sitting back in her chair next to the bed.

"To be honest, I don't really know. I've been getting these injections a couple times a day between training sessions and I guess I had a bit of a reaction."

"Why didn't you say something?" Bertholdt inquired while sitting beside Annie.

"I didn't really think much of it. I had headaches and a bloody nose and stuff. But, it's not like that stuff doesn't happen anyway. I feel great now though. Whatever that stuff was is clearly working well in my system. I'm ready to start my next round of injections." Reiner sat up and cracked his back, neck, and knuckles.

Annie and Bertholdt shared a look, but then smiled at their friend. Nothing could hold Reiner back for long.

"Anyway, you both look tired. Why don't you go sleep while you can? I'm alright, I promise." Reiner settled back into the bed.

Annie took the suggestion. "I'll let them know you're awake. And I will stop by later today, so try not to go unconscious again." She got up and left the room, slightly sluggish after the long night.

When the door closed behind her, Reiner turned to Bertholdt. "So did you do it?"

"Shut up."

Annie woke with a start in the early afternoon. Her head hurt from the lack of consistent sleep. And her body hurt because, well…

A blush covered her cheeks and neck. She moved her hands over the sheets, remembering all that had happened in that bed. A surge of pride shot through her chest. Bertholdt was hers.

Annie stretched her arms up over her head, hearing the joints pop. She had promised to check up on Reiner once she was awake and had to follow through with it. Otherwise Reiner would never take her seriously.

As she pulled on a clean shirt and, for once, a skirt, Annie heard a knock on her door. "Now what?" she growled. This day just couldn't be normal.

"Annie, it's me!" Giselle's voice called through the door. "Open up!"

The blond pulled the heavy wood door open and stared at her friend. "What is it, Gise? I'm kind of in a hurry."

Gise's usually cheerful face dropped to one of shock when she saw Annie. "Is that a hickey?"

Annie pulled her hood up over her head and glared at the redhead. "Giselle, what do you need from me?"

The girl shook her head, clearing the train of thought. "Right. So, this is actually some good news for you. They're building some small houses for those of us in the Hybrid Project. I guess the higher ups want us out of the barracks. Either way, I saw the floorplans and the houses are designed for two families. So I was thinking you, Bertholdt, Marcel, and I could share."

Annie stepped passed Giselle and shut her door. "That's fine. When are we expected to move?" She started to walk toward the stairs, but was quickly followed by Giselle.

"That I don't know, but I do know where they're going to be built. You know that park in the center of the downtown. There's an open spot behind some of the shops there. So we'll have lots of space."

The pair jogged down the steps and exited the building. "Sounds nice."

"Agreed. But anyway, that's all I had to tell you. Hope things are going well with Bertholdt. I'll see you later."

Annie watched her go. "Actually, Gise," Annie called after a moment. "I'm not going to continue my training anymore. So instead of meeting there this evening, can you and I just go to dinner as usual?"

"Sure thing. Bye-bye!"

The blond was glad her friend didn't question her decision to cancel their plans. Now that Bertholdt and she were actively trying to conceive, it seemed irresponsible to push her body so much. She wasn't allowed to go to the regimented training sessions, and now couldn't do her own.

Annie wasn't entirely sure how to spend her days anymore. Everything kept changing.

And she didn't really like it.


	7. Hide Your Pain

**Chapter 6: Hide Your Pain**

_"Bertholdt, catch up!" Annie cried, giggles erupting from her throat. "We're almost there!" The small girl led the way up the hills that rested on the edge of the forest. Their village sitting in the viewable distance. _

_ "I'm coming!" Bertholdt stumbled up the hill behind his two shorter, blonder friends. He was all legs at 10 years old, and hadn't quite gotten used to the new height. He would have been happier about it if he didn't stick out so much from his peers._

_ His friends, though, did not seem to care._

_ Annie fell back into the tall grass at the top of the hill, spreading her arms and legs out like a star, her skirt blowing a bit in the breeze. Her eyes matched the color of the sky, which that day had only a few clouds to cover its beauty. She smiled. Sundays were the only fun day for them. No training for Annie. No working the fields for Reiner. No family time for Bertholdt._

_ "Look," Reiner called, standing beside Annie and pointing up the sky. "It looks like a deer."_

_ "No, it doesn't," Annie countered, slapping his leg with her hand. "It's a horse."_

_ Bertholdt sat beside her in the grass, his knees tucked up, arms laid across them. The wind smelled of the pines that surrounded their home. Butterflies fluttered from the flowers around him. Bertholdt wanted to live here, to be free._

_ "Bertl," Annie whined. "Which is it?" She gave him her best pleading look._

_ He could never say no to Annie. "Reiner, it's a horse."_

_ Reiner fell back into the grass on Annie's other side, shouting, exasperated. "You two always gang up on me," he whined._

_ "You make it easy."_

_ "Yeah, yeah. So what are we going to do today? Not to be a downer, but this is our last day together." Reiner looked to his friends, sadness in his eyes._

_ "How about tag, like we used to play?" Bertholdt suggested._

_ "We can use the woods for cover," Annie added._

_ "Alright, that's my kind of game," Reiner said, toothy smile spreading across his face. "So who's going to be IT first?" _

_Annie and Bertholdt looked at one another, then back to Reiner similar grins on their faces. Annie jumped to her feet, tagging Reiner on the head and yelling, "You're it!" before taking off down the hill. _

"_What?! That's not fair!" Reiner shouted at her as he tried to get up. "Bertl! C'mon, you guys!"_

_Laughter filled the warm air around them as they raced down to the trees. Annie was the first to dart between the foliage, snaking her way back as far as she could. She heard Bertholdt stumbling through behind her, and Reiner still shouting behind them. _

_Reiner must have caught Bertholdt because soon Reiner was coming up around her side, smiling triumphantly. She slowed a bit and decided to run back the way she came. Someone had to let Bertholdt off from being it. He never was a fast as her or Reiner._

_When she found him though, it wasn't a sight she expected. Bertholdt was down on his knees, a figure Annie recognized as his father standing above him. Bertholdt's head was cast down, though even at the distance, she could feel the fear radiating from him._

_Reiner came up behind her, confused. She gestured with her eyes to the scene in front of them. "Oh no," he whispered._

_The first strike was quick, to the side of the head. Bertholdt took it the best he could, letting it throw him to the ground. "Get up!" she heard his dad say. Bertholdt slowly stood on his trembling legs. His father grabbed him by the back of the neck and dragged him off._

_Annie didn't feel herself move until Reiner was shouting for her to and wait. She followed behind Bertholdt and his father, trying to stay out of sight. She knew his father was an awful man, and that Bertholdt was the most abused of his siblings, but nothing could ever be done for him. Families kept to themselves, governed by the head of the house. _

_When they reached his home and the front door was slammed shut, she ducked to the nearest window. Inside she heard shouting. Through the window pain, Annie could make out Bertholdt's frame standing near his father's. He was pleading, tears coming down his face, arms above his head for protection. "No!" he shouted. "Please, Father!"_

_Mr. Fubar's fist came down with incredible force, knocking Bertholdt over the top of the head. He fell to the floor instantly, completely unconscious. Annie stared in shock at the sight before. At what that man had done to her best friend. She gripped the old window sill tightly, the wood splintering under her. _

_But his father must have heard the cracking wood, because he turned and locked his eyes on hers. "You!" he shouted, pointing a fat finger her way. "What the hell are you doing here, girl?" His words were slurred from alcohol. _

_Annie jumped back from the window, ready to run, but the door flew open. She managed to take a few bounds away, but tripped on the roots of a nearby tree. _

"_You shouldn't be here, girlie," he said, coming up in front of her, hands stretched out._

"_You hurt him!" she screeched. _

"_And I'll hurt you too. For trespassing. For hanging out with him." Bertholdt's father jumped on top of her, pinning her to the ground. "You'll regret ever coming here."_

"_Stop!" Annie shouted, trying to kick him off. He gripped her wrists tighter above her head with one hand. A solid blow hit her in the chest and Annie coughed. She tried to remember everything her father taught her, but in the moment, it all happened so fast, and she was already down._

_A second blow, this time to her cheek._

_She struggled more and more, trying to find a way out of his grip._

"_You will never forget your crime, girl!" he shouted, raising his fist above her face one more time._

* * *

><p>Annie woke with a start. How many times would that moment torment her? It had years since she consciously thought of those days. They had been so young, so naiive. What was childhood supposed to be?<p>

Did it even matter in a world of titans and humans and walls?

She shivered. She and Reiner had tough upbringings, sure. But Bertholdt suffered the most. Annie felt tears in her eyes, thinking of the bruises that used to appear on his arms and cheeks. Of the nights he would sneak away from home and find her. How they'd go to her father's stable and hide under a blanket, snuggled close to one another. How on those nights she would read to him by lantern light, stories of the old world, of the oceans and icy desserts and liquid fire. All his worries forgotten. All thoughts of home.

It all seemed so long ago.

Bertholdt shifted in the bed next to her, mumbling something before flopping an arm across Annie's chest and a leg off the opposite side of the bed. It wasn't uncommon knowledge that Bertl slept in bizarre positions, but Annie hadn't ever had to sleep with him until now.

She shoved his arm off of her, before poking him in the side. "Bertl, I know it's nice to have a big bed now, but this isn't going to work for me."

The large boy huffed loudly but continued sleeping.

Annie wasn't entirely sure how things moved as quickly as they had over the past six weeks. One moment she had her own room in the dorms, and the next, her and the other girls for this project were being moved to an area of small duplex homes newly built in town. In all technicalities, Bertholdt still roomed with Reiner, but since their relationship had gone to _that_ level, he had spent every night with her. Not that she minded (minus the weird positions he slept in). She liked having him close.

She looked around the small bedroom. One window that faced the East, and a door that led down a small hallway to the kitchen. Off to one side was an even small bathroom. The house was tiny, but Annie figured she'd be the only one officially living there for a while. She wondered if she could use the stipend of money they offered her monthly to make it more inviting. She hadn't bothered in the dorms, but this was her home now.

A breeze rattled the window pain, and Annie tucked herself closer to Bertholdt. It was still too early to get out of bed; even though the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon. However, being awake, Annie wasn't entirely sure what she should do. For a moment, she felt bad for almost waking up Berthold, who had been preparing for his upcoming mission most days. He was physically exhausted, falling into the bed every evening right after dinner and sleeping until morning.

She felt bad for him. Bertholdt was by far one of the sweetest people she knew. It was something she loved and envied him for. But for some reason people always treated him the worst. If it weren't for her or Reiner sticking up for him, he would have been long gone years ago. It was funny though, because if his father saw him now, as tall as Bertholdt was, he might be the one quivering in fear. Annie smiled at the thought, hoping one day he could get justice.

Though she was certain it would never happen.

Annie pushed some hair off Bertholdt's face. He always looked so peaceful when he was asleep. His face lost all the worry lines, and his lips sometimes seemed to relax into a small smile. She wondered what he dreamed about, hopefully something better than the nightmares she had been facing.

His face suddenly tightened up, and Bertholdt opened his eyes. "Hi," he murmured, trying to smile as sleepy as he was.

"Hi, sorry I woke you." She sat up a bit and stretched.

"Nah, you didn't," he whispered. "Don't get up yet." Bertholdt reached his arms around her waist and pulled her under the blankets. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you much lately."

"Mm," she hummed. Annie tucked herself into the folds of his arms.

"I missed you, Annie." He nuzzled his nose into her hair. "I hate how busy I've been."

Annie turned her head to look at him. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

"I want to spend time with you though. Especially now." He kissed her hair and then pushed some of it away from her neck with his long, thin fingers. Annie shivered as his lips brushed the skin at her nape. His hands moved from her hair to her stomach, and then to her breasts.

"Are we really going to do this now?" Annie huffed, already feeling her breath catching in her throat. She covered his hands with her own, leading them.

"It's been a while, and the doctors said that it can take a few tries." One of his hands slipped from her grip and glided down her belly to her underwear.

"Fuck them," Annie shot. "They're not the ones who have to carry a baby in their bodies for warfare." Her anger and heat radiated from her body.

Bertholdt let go of her a sat up. "I'd better go then." He stood from the bed and looked for his shirt, thrown somewhere on the floor the previous night.

"Bertl, I'm sorry, just wait." Annie reached for him and pulled him back down on the bed. She wrapped her arms tightly around his middle and sighed, "It's not you."

"Annie, I told you before that I don't want to pressure you about any of this." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his side. "I'll still love you." Bertholdt looked down at the blond clinging to him. "But for what it's worth, I'll stay for now. I know you've missed me too." He smiled to himself.

"I had a dream about home," she started. "It was the day we climbed the hills to get away from everything. We were playing tag, but your dad came after us, drunk. He hit you, right in front of Reiner and me, and then dragged you home by the back of your neck. You probably don't know this, but I chased after you that day." Bertholdt stiffened beside her. "After your dad got you home, I watched through the window. He beat you unconscious, Bertholdt." She choked, reliving the moment again and again.

"He saw me in the window then," she continued, her voice regaining some of its strength, "and charged after me. I tripped on the roots under the tree in your yard, and he tackled me. He got in two blows to my cheek and chest before I kicked him off and ran home." Annie took a long breath before looking to Bertholdt. "My dream was the same, except I didn't get away."

Bertholdt held her gaze and then pulled her closer. "Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.

"What, that we knew? We didn't want to embarrass you or make you feel like you had to explain yourself. Your father was an asshole who didn't deserve you as a son. Reiner and I wanted you to have a place away from that." She hugged him tightly. "And I got away."

"If I had known what he did to you…" His hands tightened into fists.

"It doesn't matter now. C'mon, why don't we try to get some more sleep before breakfast?" Annie leaned back, still tucked in his arms. "Relax, I'm okay. I'm still here with you."

Bertholdt fell back beside her. "It's not something I can forgive him for," he murmured while closing his eyes.

After a few minutes, Bertholdt's steady breathing told Annie he was back asleep. She stared into the slowly brightening room. Yes, it had been a long time since Annie consciously thought of those days.

* * *

><p>"So, I know we haven't been doing the hand-to-hand training and I was just wondering if you were ok. I didn't want to push you when you first canceled a few week ago. But I'm worried, you know? Are you not allowed to do your martial arts anymore?" Gise questioned before taking a bite of her toast. "I'm sorry if that's true, I know it was important to you."<p>

Annie looked up at her redheaded friend for the first time since they sat down for lunch. "It's fine. Bertholdt was the one who originally brought it up. He was just worried that if I got pregnant and didn't know it, I might hurt the baby. And then we'd have to start all over." Annie pushed her food around her plate.

"You said 'if' though…so does that mean things are going well for you two? More so than before?" Giselle leaned forward on the table toward Annie.

"I guess. We are together, as a couple or whatever, so I guess it's not so wrong for us to be so close. He pretty much lives with me, though I'm sure you've noticed, living next to me and all." The blond picked up her fork to eat something, but then dropped it back on her plate with a clang.

"Are you okay, Annie?"

Annie looked up, but didn't answer. She picked up her fork again and shoved a huge amount of food in her mouth.

"You can talk. You're allowed to feel vulnerable. That's why we have friends, right? To lean on each other." Gise smiled, resting her hand on Annie's across the table.

Annie set her fork down. "We just haven't been together in a few weeks. Like actually 'together.'" She sighed and turned to look passed the other tables, slowly dwindling in the number of people eating. "He's exhausted and I don't know how to help him. They push him so hard every day and I hardly see him. He's one my best friends and I just want to be with him. He tried to start something this morning, but I just…" Annie caught herself and wondered if this was something she could tell Gise.

"And I've been having this horrible dream. I talked to Bertl about it this morning, but I don't think he knew what to say. The dream is so vivid, it's part of our shared past. But in my dream, I can't escape. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm feeling trapped in the real world too." Annie grimaced. "It's awful."

"Annie, you look drained. Maybe we should go talk to the doctors?"

"I'm not going to any of those mindless doctors!" Annie claimed, jumping up from her seat. She gripped the wood of the table, her nails digging into the grooves. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"Stop doing that!" Gise shouted, her face going as red as her hair. She stood, mimicking Annie's body language. "You open up and act like you're looking for help, but then you shut down again as soon as things are too difficult or too personal. Well, stop it! Life sucks, and it's going to suck even more now that we're here, and that we're expected to be breeding machines for these lunatics. But at this point you need to get over yourself!"

Gise slowed, exhaling quietly. She looked to Annie, tears in her eyes. "I told you that it's ok to feel vulnerable. That's why you have me, or Bertholdt. I want you to come to me when you don't know what to do." Gise brushed the back of her hand across her cheeks to remove the tears. "I'm sorry," she said with a small smile. "I've just been a really emotional wreck lately."

"I want to support you too, Giselle," Annie said softly. She sat down on the bench and gestured for Gise to do the same. "I'm just not used to being helped. I didn't mean to yell at you, I just can't face those doctors any more than I have to. I've screwed up enough here recently and I don't need a reason for them to do something drastic."

"Then you and I will just have to figure this out," Gise said with her usual smile. She reached for Annie's hands again and held them tightly. "Right?"

* * *

><p>Bertholdt was already in a foul mood that morning, even before training started. Why didn't they tell him? It was one thing for Annie, who was always so passive, but Reiner was his closest confidant. It wasn't that he really kept his father's abuse a secret, but he wasn't sure if they really knew.<p>

Apparently they had. Annie knew.

"Dammit!" he bellowed, slamming a fist on the wall of his room. It was so long ago. He knew the exact day too. It was the day before his father had sold him off to one of the officers, just a week before Annie and Reiner left. It was their last free day together, that they knew of.

And his father had ruined it.

"I'll kill him," Bertholdt seethed into his fist. "If I ever see that bastard again, _I will kill him_."

He sighed, pushing off the wall and changing into his training uniform. It was a field test day for him and Marcel. The thought of being around Marcel for the next twelve hours made him burn with anger. If he weren't such an ass, things would maybe be easier. Maybe.

Bertholdt grabbed his jacket off the end of his bed and made his way toward the offsite training grounds. It was a bit of a walk from the boys' dorms, so he figured it should be enough time to cool down and gain some composure before turning into a 60 meter monster.

His feet kicked up gravel on the main path to the gate. The scuffling noise was plenty to distract him. That was, until he heard a running gate coming from behind.

"Hey, Bert, wait up!" Reiner bound down the road toward his tall friend. He jumped and wrapped a large arm around Bertholdt's neck from behind.

"Ach!" Bertl grabbed Reiner's wrist and yanked his arm from around his neck. "What?" The blond boy matched Bertholdt's steps as best he could, following to the training grounds. It was still _so_ far away.

"I'm completely healed, that's what!" Reiner exclaimed, punching Bertholdt in the shoulder and breaking him from his bleak thoughts. "And," he started excitedly, "I have recently been assigned to a certain mission with you and Marcel."

That officially got Bertholdt's attention, stopping him in his tracks. "What?" he burst out angrily. "Why are they assigning you? Do you have a death wish?"

"Bert, easy." Reiner put up his hands in truce. "It's a pretty simple task. And they need my new acquired traits. My titan form's got armor now. You'll need my help breaking through the second wall." Reiner flexed his arms above his head. "Jeez, I thought you'd be happy, you know? Three buddies on a great mission together."

"Marcel and I aren't buddies," Bertl spat, taking a step forward to continue his pace from before. "He's a prick with no respect for anyone. If I could get away with it, I'd sock him in his stupid face."

"What has gotten into you?" Reiner asked, pulling back on Bertholdt's sleeve. "Did you have a fight with Annie or something?"

"No! I'm just frustrated. And the fact that in a few months when we leave, no one will be here for Annie." Bertholdt looked away quickly. "If something happens to me…"

"Hey, relax, man." Reiner put a solid arm around his friend's shoulders. "Nothing is going to happen to you. The plan is almost foolproof, give or take a few titans and the Garrison's canons."

"Whatever. This is all a joke to you." Bertholdt shrugged Reiner's arm off. "You have nothing to lose."

"Are you kidding? What the hell is going on? And actually tell me, no more of this bullshit." Reiner jumped in front of his friend, blocking the path. "Talk."

Bertholdt looked away, irritated. But as his friend waited, he knew it had to come out. With a sight, Bertholdt said, "You both knew about my dad."

Reiner didn't expect that.

"Annie told me this morning. And she also made a point to tell me he hit her too." Bertholdt shoved a hand out to push Reiner back. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Probably not. Now please don't make me late for training." He took off in a jog, passing Reiner.

Reiner wasn't sure what to say. Of all the things to be mad about, something that happened over five years ago? It was so Bertholdt. He shook his head, unsure of how to get back into his friend's trust. It would have to be today. Reiner leapt into a sprint, hoping to catch Bertholdt soon.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Berty, was wondering when you were gonna show up." Marcel stretched his arms behind his back.<p>

"Shut up." Bertholdt spit. He walked to his position and faced forward, waiting instructions.

"What the hell? Mr. Nervous-Goody-Goody in a pissy mood today? What a shame. I wonder how your cute little girlfriend will handle that. Unless she's the one who got you mad." Marcel stepped real close to Bertholdt, his face just inches away. "Did Annie get you _real mad_, Berty?" He laughed to himself. "I wouldn't be surprised if she got me all heated, either. She's a real pistol. If she ever becomes too much for you, just pass her my way." The grin on Marcel's face was sickening. "There's plenty of room in my bed."

"Marcel!" Reiner warned, coming through the set of gates. "Knock it off."

"What?" he asked, stepping back with his arms out. "I was just letting Berty know that I'll take care of his tramp if she's too much for him. She's definitely something I wouldn't mind trying out."

"Shut up." The words left Bertholdt's mouth, quiet but raged.

"What, now?" Marcel asked, tapping Bertholdt's chest with his hand. "Did you say something, Bertl? That's the name she uses for you, right?"

"C'mon, Marcel. Stop." Reiner took another step closer to the two boys, unsure if he should separate them or not.

Steam started to seep from Bertholdt's skin, radiating his anger in heat. "I said, shut up." He slowly turned to face Marcel, eyes burning.

"You wanna fight, Colossal? Bring it." Marcel flipped the blade out from his ring, moving to snag his finger.

"Boys! Enough!" Their commanding officer stalked toward them, flanked by two scientists. "Save it. We need you three with level heads for today." He pointed to the area of trees on the far end of the field. "Go."

The three boys jogged to their assigned locations, but before Bertholdt could get far enough away, he heard Marcel whisper, "But trust me, she'd be better off with me anyway. I already got her stupid redhead friend knocked up, if you hadn't heard. Annie could easily be my second."

Bertholdt stopped in his tracks. "If you touch her, I will kill you."

He was aware before that it would be impossible to get through the twelve hours with Marcel. Now Bertholdt was sure.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you all enjoyed! Please review if you have the time, they are literally my favorite part of writing this. See you all next chapter.<strong>

**-Missy**


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